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Egyptian Islamists Extend Sex Lives By Six Hours

I was pretty impressed by the stupidity of Arizona extending the beginning of a woman’s pregnancy to approximately two weeks before conception, but that’s nothing compared to what Egypt is considering doing. They’re thinking of extending her sex life up to six hours beyond her death.

I’m used to seeing horrible, awful, no-good laws from theocrats, especially when they’re drunk with new power like Egypt’s newly Islamist government, but usually I can see the logic even if I thoroughly disapprove of it. I can grok, for example, the other laws referred to in the article, viz. keeping women uneducated and dependent on their husband’s income, taking away a woman’s right to divorce, and lowering the marriageable age of girls to fourteen. When your culture sees women as nothing but baby-making machines for men, and the men are so terrified of being cuckolded that virginity is an absolute requirement in the women they want to mate with, it’s not surprising that the guys flirt with outright pedophilia. Hell, pervy old Mohammad himself jumped all over that nymphet Aysha, right?

"Trust me, it is Allah's will. He likes to watch."

The why of this is completely beyond me, though. It isn’t as if you’re going to knock up the corpse, so there’s no utility argument there. It’s not just a decriminalization of necrophilia, it’s a specific exemption for your dead spouse only, and only for six hours after her death… though it’s not as if the corpse is going to tattle on you if you don’t get your rocks off until seven hours after the fact. (Probably shouldn’t push it much beyond that in Egypt’s climate though, or those rotten cunts may well split on you after all.) To be fair, women are apparently also allowed a goodbye fuck with the old man, provided he’s appropriately stiff in the right places. I’m just a bit nonplussed that there’s enough demand for legalized necrophilia to justify the necessity of a law like this.

I suppose it’s a victimless crime though, since the dead can’t feel the fucks, and maybe the time limit is a nod to public safety… though this being Egypt the mummificator’s union might try to get that part taken out.

Lookin' good, Hatshepsut!!

~ by BT Murtagh on April 26, 2012.

current events, Extremism, Religion, Sexuality, Stupidity, weirdness