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Jebusanta: the new bad art standard

Steel yourself with some heavily spiked eggnog, and gaze upon this masterwork from Regretsy.

Note how the malproportioned Jebus towers over the weeping Santa, or would do if his legs hadn’t been amputated at the knees. Ponder what the hidden meaning of Santa’s removed hat and gloves may be: is Santa somehow responsible for 9/11? (Perhaps the real 9/11 Truth is that the pilots were avoiding a drunken Santa out for a September sleigh ride.) What about Jebus’s wooden hand, is that from the same incident that took his legs? Was he injured trying to grab the reindeer’s reins? Is a 9/11 memorial something you would want placed under your Christmas tree, or rather in front of it since it wouldn’t actually fit?

I propose this painting as the new Bad Art Standard. A painting half this bad would be rated at 0.5 jebusantas, for example the previous bad art standard the velvetelvis:

My sister’s clown painting might be rated at 1.21 jebusantas (picture omitted for public safety reasons).

What do you think?

~ by BT Murtagh on December 30, 2011.

Art, comedy, United States, weirdness

2 Responses to “Jebusanta: the new bad art standard”

  1. The word you are looking for is “velvis.” I’m not sure if I can claim credit for this portmanteau, but I’ve been using it since the late 1980s/early 1990s.

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